WHAT THOSE JOB POSTINGS REALLY MEAN.

1. Competitive Salary
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

2. Join Our Fast Paced Company
We have no time to train you

3. Casual Work Atmosphere
We don't pay enough to expect you to dress up

4. Must Be Deadline Oriented
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day

5. Some Overtime Required
Some time each night and some time on the weekend

6. Duties Will Vary
Anyone in the office can boss you around

7. Must Have an Eye For Detail
We have no quality control

8. Career Minded
Female applicant can not have children and "must" stay that way

9. Apply In Person
If your old, fat or ugly you'll be told that the position has been filled

10. No Phone Calls Please
We've filled the job and our post is a legal formality

11. Seeking Candidates With A Wide Variety Of Experience
You'll be replacing three people who "just" left

12. Problem Solving Skills a Must
You're walking into a company of perpetual chaos

13. Requires Team Leadership Skills
You will have the duties of a manager without the pay or respect

14. Good Communication Skills
Management communicates. You listen, figure out what they want and do it

NOTE: If you get the job. Understand that dong it right the 1st time gets the job done. Doing it wrong 14 times is job security.